When A Woman You Love Was Abused: A Husband's Guide to Helping Her Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation by Dawn Scott Jones

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 80 percent of childhood abuse victims later suffer from at least one abuse-induced psychological disorder. It’s proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow women into adulthood. Yet few men are prepared to deal with those effects, even when their own wife is the one who is suffering. And their wife’s suffering becomes their own suffering as their needs aren’t being met by a wife who is powerless to control her inner turmoil.

Goodreads Summary

Trying to reach out to the husbands of abused women, the author draws on her own experiences and those of women she’s counseled.  Of course, their wives will also benefit from reading about others like them and about how they may be trying to heal.  The book is divided into sections which focus on the emotions, loneliness, and depression that survivors of sexual abuse feel, on the healing process, and on how husbands can help.  I’ve never experienced abuse myself, but Scott Jones’ writing and advice seemed intuitive and balanced.  As early as page 12, she cautions husbands that the journey will be exhausting and daunting.  The author warns them that their struggling wives will turn to them…but might also turn on them.
The experiences, the coping skills, the suppression of feelings, the memories and triggers… - there are so many aspects surrounding the consequences of the cruel crime that these women suffered through; Scott Jones discusses them all.  I had to read and skim the chapter dealing with forgiveness a few times.  It’s so incomprehensible to me that the victimizer should ever be forgiven.  Yet, this is a step toward healing.  Even God must be forgiven, and Bible quotes are used to illustrate the precedent for having the capacity to forgive such an evil.  The book is well-written, heartfelt advice; however, even with excellent guidance, I wonder if many men would be able to support and break through the lack of trust and the hurt these women must feel.  I hope so. 

Four Stars

*Reviewed by Colleen*

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