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Don't Get Caught by Kurt Dinan: Guest Post and Giveaway!

Friday, April 1, 2016

10:00 tonight at the water tower. Tell no one. -Chaos Club

When Max receives a mysterious invite from the untraceable, epic prank-pulling Chaos Club, he has to ask: why him? After all, he's Mr. 2.5 GPA, Mr. No Social Life. He's Just Max. And his favorite heist movies have taught him this situation calls for Rule #4: Be suspicious. But it's also his one shot to leave Just Max in the dust...

Yeah, not so much. Max and four fellow students-who also received invites-are standing on the newly defaced water tower when campus security "catches" them. Definitely a setup. And this time, Max has had enough. It's time for Rule #7: Always get payback.

Let the prank war begin.

Kurt Dinan is a high school English teacher living in Cincinnati. His debut novel, DON'T GET CAUGHT, will be released in April of 2016. He is represented by Kerry Sparks of LGR.
LINKS: Website | Twitter

In my novel DON’T GET CAUGHT I create what is essentially a heist crew of teenagers, although instead of stealing items (minus one complicated caper to steal a cell phone) they pull elaborate pranks.  Heist crews, historically, have set roles that need to be filled.  So when I wrote the novel, I just had to create the characters to fill those roles.  Obviously, I had to make up my own characters for the novel, but this got me to thinking:  If I could choose any characters from literary history to create the greatest heist crew of all time, who would I select?  I’m not sure if the following characters could actually work together, but if they could, they would be unstoppable.  Here are my selections for the greatest literary heist crew of all time:

Mastermind - Ender Wiggin

Every crew needs the person with the plan, and who better than the greatest strategic mind in the galaxy?  Sure, he’s only seven in the classic Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, but he’s smart enough to beat every army in battle school and ultimately defeat the alien-horde called Buggers and save humankind.  Whatever target I could dream up to be stolen, Ender Wiggin could come up with a plan, despite his age.

Partner-in-Crime - Hermione Granger

A mastermind needa a right-hand “man”, that sounding board to question the plan and search out  holes in the mastermind’s strategy.  Who better than JK Rowling’s overly studious, always skeptical, constantly questioning Hermione?  Look, I know getting her to buy into stealing anything would be difficult considering she’s such a rule follower, but given the right target and a belief that she’s doing the right thing, you just know Hermione would be the perfect second-in-command.

Thug - Joe Pike

Look, occasionally heads need busted.  I mean, what are you going to do when security shows up at the wrong time?  Right, you need someone to kick some butt. This was a hard role for me to fill because there are so many unstoppable badasses out there in fiction, but ultimately, I’m going with Robert Crais’ creation Joe Pike.  Pike mostly plays the partner role to Crais’ detective Elvis Cole, but when Elvis is in trouble, someone needs backup, or an ass kicking is called for, Joe Pike is who he turns to.  He’s absolutely the thug I want on my heist crew.

Grifter - Fletch

A heist crew needs someone who can play any role necessary, ready to be a business man or royalty or crazy professor to get information, lie his way into a building, etc. This is probably the hardest role to fill as not many people are able to change their behavior and appearance on a dime.  In the end, I’m going with Gregory MacDonald’s investigative reporter Irwin Fletcher, better known as Fletch.  In every novel of the Fletch series, he has to lie his way in and out of countless dangerous situations, ready to think on his feet.  And if you don’t know the name, check out the great 1980’s film Fletch starring Chevy Chase. 

Hacker - Lisbeth Salander

In this technological age, your heist crew needs someone to crack computer codes, steal text messages from the air, and open the unopenable electronic locks.  Steig Larson’s hacker extradordinairre and all-around badass Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy is the obvious choice.  She might not be social, and if you upset her you may wake up in a third world country missing a kidney, but she’s the best hacker in the literary world.

The Thief - The Dread Pirate Roberts (Wesley)

After all of the planning, information gathering, code breaking, and head busting, someone’s got to break in and heist the item, right?  Who better than the greatest criminal of all time, The Dread Pirate Roberts, better known in William Goldman’s The Princess Bride, Wesley?  Not only would he be able to sneak into a building undetected, and sword fight his way out of any situation, but his undying love for Princess Buttercup, and his need to return to her at the end of each day, would all but guarantee success.

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  1. Now I have to watch The Princess Bride again! It's been too long. I love this post--very fun.