Dinner Guests
(703 words)
When I interview authors on my blog, I often ask them, “If
you could have any authors over for dinner, who would you choose?” With the
pending release of my debut picture book, MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES, I find
myself thinking a lot about fantasy and mythological creatures. And which
fantasy characters would I like to have over for dinner.
MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES includes a hydra, which could
be viewed as a multi-headed wingless dragon. And when I think dragons, I think Pern,
Earthsea, and Game of Thrones. So, my first guest would be Daenerys Stormborn
of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen,
Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great
Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. An excellent choice, no? She’s
beautiful, brave, and compassionate. She’s been robbed of the throne, but she’s
not whiney about it. She can eat raw horse heart without complaint, so my
cooking is probably safe for her. But, her dragons would probably wreck my
furniture, and formally introducing her to the other guests would mean we
wouldn’t start eating until midnight.
MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES features a dwarf, and that’s
just the right character to keep those pesky dragons in check. While Gimli is well-known,
I have to go with The Hobbit’s Dáin II Ironfoot.
He earned renown as a young dwarf by slaying the Orc chieftain Azog at the
Battle of Azanulbizar. Like his kindred, the Lord of the Iron Hills is tough
and battle-hardened. But unlike some dwarves of Middle Earth, Dáin has wisdom. He knew that even
though the goblins were defeated, it was not yet time for the dwarves to
reoccupy their ancient home of Khazad-dûm. After the Battle of Five Armies, he rules
the Lonely Mountain with the good sense to keep on good terms with the Elves of
Mirkwood and the Men of Dale. But, he’d probably drink all my ale.
MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES also features a witch, an
ettin, sprites, a werewolf, and a minotaur. And since the witch in Monty Python
and the Holy Grail is a false one, I will instead invite Jadis, Queen of
Narnia, Châtelaine of Cair
Paravel, and Empress of the Lone Islands. What is it with the ladies and long
names? You may recall her by the more convenient title of White Witch, played
so deliciously by Tilda Swinton in the movie version of The Lion, the Witch,
and the Wardrobe. The seven-foot tall sorceress could teach a class on being
cold and goal-oriented. She uttered the Deplorable Word in order to vanquish
her sister, even though that eradicated all life in the world of Charn. She
subsequently sends Narnia into a deep freeze, although that skill could turn
out quite handy keeping my ale chilled (at least until Dáin drinks it all). Jadis is tall. She’s immensely strong. She’s
petrifying. And I mean that both figuratively and literally. And Jadis has
minotaurs, ettins, werewolves, sprites, and other assorted minions. But, she’d
probably eat the Turkish Delight I prepared for dessert.
MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES briefly mentions an elf. The
Lord of the Rings offers us many elves, but none more tragic than Fëanor. Here’s a guy born with a
mithril spoon in his mouth. He’s immortal, his dad is High King of the Noldor
elves, and Fëanor lives in
Valinor, which is THE primo real estate in Arda. He is the most gifted gemsmith
to ever live. He crafted the palantíri, and he captured in the three infinitely
valuable Silmarils the light of Laurelin and Telperion, the two trees that
illuminate the world. When Morgoth kills the two trees, Fëanor is told he can restore them by giving up the Silmarils. But his
pride, anger, and hatred prevent him from doing so. Morgoth steals the
Silmarils, and Fëanor convinces many Noldor to pursue Morgoth to Middle Earth,
even killing on three separate occasions fellow elves that won’t do their
bidding. Though Fëanor and countless elves die in the attempt, they fail to
finally recover the Silmarils. What a douche.
Hmmm. Upon further consideration, maybe I should just have some
authors over for dinner…
Learn more about MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES at
http://www.birchtreepub.com/mgnr.htm
This product or book may have been distributed for review, this in no way affects my opinions or reviews. COPYRIGHT © 2014 LIVE TO READ
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