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Top Ten Things Vampires Shouldn’t Do on Summer Vacation: Theresa Meyers

Friday, June 3, 2011



10. Eat ice cream quickly. Think about it, if you get a brain freeze eating the frozen goodness that is ice cream, just think what would happen to your resident vampire with extra large canines. Of course my vampires have retractable fangs, so that helps, but still…vampires should cool it when it comes to ice cream.

9. Go on a summer vacation in Alaska. Vampires don’t like sunlight. For some it’s because they go all sparkly. For mine it’s because there naturally enhanced eyesight is more light sensitive (kind of like when you get out of an eye doctor appointment with your eyes dilated). Too much exposure can give them migraines and in some cases a nasty sun burn. Since Alaska’s summers contain many more hours of daylight than dark, best to choose it as a winter destination vacation if your vampire.

8. Transport into a party uninvited. Vampires might materialize in a socially awkward situation or in the case of my vampires into dangerous territory. It’s better to know who’ll be there when you transport than appearing by surprise and getting an eyeful of something you don’t intend to.

7. Party near a bonfire. Really any location that contributes to mob mentality (even a microbrewery, but especially those places involving wood and fire) should be eschewed for social events by vampires. Why give them easy access to materials for stakes and torches for pity’s sake? Vampires are much more suited to locations involving kicking ass after hours, such as Sangria, the vampire club of choice for the Cascade vampire Clan.

6. Take up a night job as a phlebotomist to fund your summer socializing. Frankly I feel the temptation is just too great. Anyone who collects blood for a living ought not to be the same person who drinks to be living. I mean really, can you even imagine? “That’s one tube for your test, one tube for me, one tube for the test, one tube for me…”

5. Wear silver jewelry or get summer piercings. Sure it’s pretty and shiny, but when the metal in question could disrupt your nervous system impulses, it’s best to choose something else. The vampires in the Sons of Midnight mini-series might not be sensitive to garlic, but silver can be debilitating.

4. Drink any cocktails spiked with Dead Man’s Blood. Eww. Ok, but beyond that, in The Vampire Who Loved Me, Dead Man’s Blood is a very potent poison to my vampires. It contains no life force so it would be like downing a slug of liquid nitrogen – painful, unpleasant and definitely not safe.

3. Sunbathe—nude. Again with the sunlight. Nobody likes an all over sunburn. Not even vampires.

2. Tick off the Goddess of Chaos. Hey summertime fun and games is fun, but not fighting. Especially not with Eris, even if you aren’t a vampire. As the daughter of Ares God of War, Eris is not a chick you want to mess with. She might look like a Reese Witherspoon clone, but she thrives on the misery, agony and festering emotions of people so stirring up some trouble is her pleasure. Avoid her and find better people to party with.

1. And the number one thing vampires shouldn’t do on summer vacation: Fall in love with a mortal. You’ve likely lost everyone mortal you’ve ever known or love by the time you’re a decent aged vampire. How do you ever expect it to work out? Mortals are so young, so firm, so full of blood, but you don’t date a juice pouch, much less willingly put yourself in danger of being beheaded to save one. That is unless you’ve found something in your mortal that makes your entire eternal life up to that moment seem meaningless. Then, and only then, might a mortal be worth it.

I hope you’ve had fun with my Top Ten Things A Vampire Should Never Do on Summer Vacation. If you were a vampire, what would be on your list? For more a perfect beach read, check out my newest release THE VAMPIRE WHO LOVED ME for the dark and sexy Sons of Midnight mini-series from Harlequin Nocturne or visit me online atwww.theresameyers.com.


Excerpt:

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16 comments:

  1. Funny, Krystal. I tell my vampires this all the time, but do they listen? Maybe now that they can read it from someone else they will. So thanks for that. If you think I'm kidding, check it out...Original Blood http://www.stuartland.com/
    and
    http://www.stuartland.com/blog/

    Have a fangtastic weekend,

    Stuart

  1. Very cool! I love this giveaways :)
    Thanks for the chance to win!!!

  1. my bad...
    dakotagirl16AThotmailDOTcom

  1. love the list, and now a new follower

    theamethystprincess@gmail.com

  1. lol, too funny!!

    sarahcoulsey03 at gmail dot com

  1. Pam S said...:

    Loved your top ten list :)! Thanks so much for the Friday fun post.

    gfc follower - pams00

    pams00 @ aol.com

  1. A top ten list -- what a great idea! I enjoyed yours. I like the look of your blog too. Beautiful tree photo.

  1. Very good post!! I am a gfc follower as countrysunset40. Thank you for the giveaway.

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  1. I liked the top ten. :) My addition would be... have a little too much to drink and get a tattoo. Because they will have to live with that tattoo for a longgg time!
    GFC: LadyVampire2u
    LadyVampire2u At gmail DOT com

  1. Shana said...:

    Love the list! I am following. Happy blogging!

  1. katsrus said...:

    I am a new follower. That is a great list.
    Sue B
    katsrus(at)gmail(dot)com

  1. This is AWESOME! I loved every sentence ;)

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  1. This comment has been removed by the author.
  1. Cool list (or cold). Loved it. sheiladeeth at hotmail dot com

  1. This was flippin fantastic! it definitely got a chuckle or ten out of me!