Let’s talk about: 1) meeting someone unintentionally; 2) what could happen after the relationship hasdeveloped; 3) how you might handle it when he/she becomes interested in someone else; 4) the breakup and going back and forth; and 5) how to heal from a broken relationship.
Think about your relationships over the years and keep in mind some of the things that happened where if it took place today how you can see yourself approaching and handling situations differently.
In the book When A Man Luvs A Woman (“WAMLAW”), Tommy and Sarah are the main characters who bumps into one another going into the neighborhood grocery store. Sarah snaps, “You better watch where you’re goin’.” Tommy apologizes and proceeds to shop for his mom’s groceries. When leaving the store, they wave good-bye. They never saw one another while attending school.
Sarah graduates with honors from college landing a position at a prestigious Accounting firm, so she decides to celebrate and go out with some of her friends. On the exact same night, Tommy decides to go out because he enjoys socializing. He also finishes school.
Somehow at the same exact moment Sarah and Tommy are going into the Club and bumps into one another again. Sarah says, “You better watch where you are going.” Tommy turns and looks. They start going back and forth with comments that are below the belt until suddenly they both stop talking and remembering when they first met for about 1 minute and all of a sudden they start laughing hysterically.
Have you ever been in a relationship and you knew it was timing that connected you to him or you to her? You were in a specific place at a specific time not planning to meet someone.
As Tommy and Sarah departed walking in opposite directions, Tommy gives Sarah $20 to order a drink. He says, “I’ll find you later to see if you would like to dance.” Sarah starts ordering drinks back to back not ever having a chance to really enjoy herself during school; she begins letting her hair down.
Well, the moment came for them to dance Sarah’s favorite genre (Reggae) of music starts playing. The action in the Club had heightened and there was Tommy at the right place at the right time again. “May I have this dance?” while reaching for Sarah’s hand. “Sure.” He takes her by the hand. Sarah lifts out of the chair using her sex appeal, and he leads her to the dance floor. LOVE was in the air at a time when it wasn’t planned. Sarah was celebrating; Tommy felt like partying. They did not have LOVE on their minds.
Sometimes things happen when we least expect them. All the while we are wondering when it is going to take place and it never does. Have you ever met someone and fell in LOVE and you didn’t know it was going to happen?
Well that is what happened with Tommy and Sarah. From the time they bumped into one another when they were in grammar school, Tommy kept Sarah in his heart. Before leaving the Club, they exchanged phone nos. and Tommy calls to see if Sarah wants to go out on a date.
On their first date Sarah did not want to put more in to the relationship then it really was.
Have you ever had a relationship that you put more into it and the other person did not?
On a personal note, I did. When I was much younger and I did not understand, I thought if I liked someone, he liked me too. I would think about him when we were not together and thought he was thinking about me. When I got older, I had a rude awakening. I had put too much into the relationship and he wasn’t thinking about taking the relationship to the next level.
Love that is new and fresh is much different from LOVE that has been through a lot of bad experiences. When the rapport is similar and both parties agree on most things, the correlation between the two can grow. But when there is no happy medium, it can cause conflicts in a relationship.
Eventually, I met a gentleman who found me. We connected and the opportunity was there so I took him up on it. Although this relationship was great in the beginning, toward the end, we started taking one another for granted.
Because of bad relationships, some people have come to the conclusion that they will not open up their heart to be hurt again. They have built a brick wall around the areas of their heart. When someone tries to get in, they will not let them.
Although, Sarah had a lot of bad relationships in her past, she decided to let her guard down and move forward with Tommy because he showed her that she could trust him. Then TerriLynn came into the picture.
Now, TerriLynn was packaged just right. She had nothing to lose. TerriLynn decided along time ago that she wanted to be the other woman. She made up in her mind that if I can’t have him at least I will have a part of him.
Tommy didn’t want to deal with TerriLynn, but she was irresistible. She had something that was so magical that she could get a man’s attention when she walks into a room.
Have you ever dealt with someone’s man or woman just to have a little fun and ended up falling in LOVE with them? You start wanting to see them more and put more of a demand on the relationship especially during special occasions and holidays. You totally forget about their significant other and make up in your mind that you are the main squeeze.
Sarah had gone through Tommy’s cell phone and found the same phone no. had called him numerous times. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but knew something was going on. Eventually, she meets Peter who steps into the picture as a friend to comfort Sarah during Tommy and TerriLynn’s affair. Peter and Sarah’s relationship was simply platonic.
Peter owns a beauty salon/spa, a place to get away to relax and receive beauty treatments. The way Peter pampers Sarah was remarkable. He is a true gentleman.
Bringing someone else into the picture does not solve the problem. It actually makes matters worse. The pain of breaking up with the one you love is devastating. Life isn’t always fair and you can find yourself feeling as if you are in the bottom of a pit or in a deep cave toward the end of a breakup and even worse after the breakup. You start feeling inadequate, so you do things that are out of character.
This is the time that you should find deep within yourself the strength to pull yourself out. There is a built in mechanism in you to help you start over. The longer you stay in a place of hurt and pain, the more damage it can cause you. Mentally you might go over and over in your mind if you were the cause of the breakup. This can eventually start affecting your health. Everyone is different and the method that works for someone else, might not work for you.
I started journaling. I wrote how bad I was feeling and then waited to hear what God was telling me to do. I wrote what I heard God saying so that I could refer to it as often as I needed to.
Try different things to see what works for you. Just because one method does not work do not mean other ones won’t. The most important is to find what works for you personally to gain your dignity and put yourself back on the map of being comfortable with dating and seeing others.
Going back and forth in the same bad relationship will never work. You will find yourself in the same place only to start back at ground zero trying to get yourself out of a rut. Give yourself time to heal.
Now, if the other person is willing to reconcile and treat you with respect, then moving forward with them might be worth giving it a try.
WAMLAW was written to cause relationships to stick together through thick and thin. When the other woman or the other man comes to breakup the relationship, it can cause you to start hating one another. Hate is the opposite of LOVE.
Tommy had to learn how to bring the best out of Sarah, so he asked his mother.
To learn more about how a man can bring the best out of a woman, pickup your copy today of WAMLAW at mcclurepublishing.com. You may also write or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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